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I am sure you can understand why I was then keen to try the same treatment 10 years later when I was again diagnosed with PTSD following my long relationship of domestic violence.Unfortunately however, the treatment did not work that time.
Thank heavens I have improved to the point of being almost normal, EXCEPT in certain situations... I knew that the things I was experiencing would be completely beyond the realm of normal experience.
I conclude that Complex PTSD is caused by a more complex set of circumstances, and the type of that results is also more complex.
The symptoms of Complex PTSD are also more subtle and varied, or dare I say, more complex, and further more, the disorder requires different understanding, support. It is a matter of needing to understand the context of a person's experiences and therefore the nature of their emotional and physiological reactions.
Of course even the same person is going to respond differently to the trauma of, for example, a single car accident compared to the trauma endured through on going abuse.(quoted from with symptoms of or similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME) -An anger of injustice stimulated to an excessive degree (sometimes but improperly attracting the words "manic" instead of motivated, "obsessive" instead of focused, and "angry" instead of "passionate", especially from those with something to fear) -An overwhelming desire for acknowledgement, understanding, recognition and validation of their experience -A simultaneous and paradoxical unwillingness to talk about the bullying (click here to see why) or abuse (click here to see why) -A lack of desire for revenge, but a strong motivation for justice -A tendency to oscillate between conciliation (forgiveness) and anger (revenge) with objectivity being the main casualty -Extreme fragility, where formerly the person was of a strong, stable character -Numbness, both physical (toes, fingertips, and lips) and emotional (inability to feel love and joy) -Clumsiness -Forgetfulness -Hyperawareness and an acute sense of time passing, seasons changing, and distances travelled -An enhanced environmental awareness, often on a planetary scale -An appreciation of the need to adopt a healthier diet, possibly reducing or eliminating meat - especially red meat -Willingness to try complementary medicine and alternative, holistic therapies, etc -A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does -A constant need to prove oneself, even when surrounded by good, positive people -An unusually strong sense of vulnerability, victimisation or possible victimisation, often wrongly diagnosed as "persecution" -Occasional violent intrusive visualisations -Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, a sense of being unwanted, unlikeable and unlovable -A feeling of being small, insignificant, and invisible -An overwhelming sense of betrayal, and a consequent inability and unwillingness to trust anyone, even those close to you -In contrast to the chronic fatigue, depression etc, occasional false dawns with sudden bursts of energy accompanied by a feeling of "I'm better!
", only to be followed by a full resurgence of symptoms a day or two later Justification and paranoia are 2 significant symptoms which have recently become associated with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
All 3 of these mental health experts were thorough enough to be able to gain an insight into my experiences and from that were able to identify that apart from my AD/HD which has been present since early childhood (but never diagnosed), the rest of my symptom clusters suggested a reactive disorder or 2 or 3 (co-morbidities), all of which only manifested in adulthood and while in a situation of family violence, and therefore that they had to be the direct result of the abuse rather than internal chemical imbalances.
They also all acknowledged that they would only be able to help with those areas of my treatment in which they specialize, and told me I would need ongoing support from a therapist who specifically deals with victims of abuse, because the complexities involved with my experiences and therefore also my recovery, were beyond the realm of their experience.PTSD is caused by a specific traumatic event such as a natural disaster, life threatening incident such as an assault or rape, or witnessing such an event happen to another person, particularly a loved one.The result is a single that is contained to a single memory pathway of neurons.I even became a back yard detective in an attempt to prove to myself once and for all that I was either crazy, or that I was indeed being stalked.Of course I proved beyond all doubt that I was being stalked, but that did not mean that the things that were happening sounded any less crazy, and combined with my social anxiety and tendency to immediately launch into a detailed explanation of everything in order to justify my fears, concerns or actions, I think I came across as more crazy than ever before in the end.I know I sound paranoid (I start some sentences with "I know this sounds completely paranoid BUT....") and trust me, I feel paranoid most of the time until my ex makes a mistake and I have no choice but to accept the proof, but then I feel paranoid again when lots of little things paint a picture but cannot be proved, until the next time and then the cycle starts again.